像少年一样无赖,像中年一样去爱

像少年一样无赖,像中年一样去爱

九月 30, 2019 阅读 2254 字数 2149 评论 253 喜欢 2

时间从未走远,在那些始终和时间赛跑的人身上。

每一天落寞的阳光变成防腐剂,每一日沉睡的星空覆上保护膜,任何外界的干扰,都成为独自前进的坚定力量。而这种力量,历久弥新,终于成为你生命中不可或缺的一部分。

认识蕾蕾姐,是在三年前。

像少年一样无赖,像中年一样去爱

我去天通苑采访画家“五龙先生”龙黔石,刚入门,便见得满屋子到处摆置着与龙相关的各类物品,图书,画册,CD,雕刻模型,杯垫,涂鸦背景墙,以及旧时小孩常常在元宵节里提的那种还会唱“小青龙”的灯笼。

先生大抵是那种很童真的性子,穿着唐装,拿把纸扇,一边哼着儿歌,一边拉着我到处参观这所处处藏宝的屋子来,见识过开在水源顶端的绿植,触摸过超有历史感的雕文瓷玉,末了,他说要给我看看他眼里最珍贵的宝贝。

环视四周,我把能猜测的东西都猜了个便。

老先生却拍拍手,大笑起来,紧接着从厨房里出来一位看起来像30岁左右的女子。清清淡淡一袭碧色裙子,皮肤光滑,面容柔和,笑起来的时候有些像小学课本里宋庆龄阿姨的感觉,叫人亲切的很。

打过招呼,我满怀着好奇的眼神看向五龙先生。

隔了几分钟的样子,他才慢悠悠的说出了这“宝贝”的缘由:“蕾蕾,是我的入室弟子,也是我对外一切工作事项的经纪人。虽然名义上我是她师傅,可事实上,在生活中我还得叫她一声师傅嘞!”

原来,在十几年前,五龙先生便已收颇具天赋的蕾蕾姐为入室弟子,也正是在那个阶段,他被查出患有糖尿病。向来生龙活虎的他是无论如何都接受不了这个诊断结果,一气之下,暂停了所有的创作和展览,整日把自己关在屋子里,郁郁寡欢。

蕾蕾姐见状,没有进行什么安抚式劝慰,只是将他从房间里拖出,带他去了附近的一所中学。站在校门口,看嬉笑打闹的少年们推着自行车三五成群的走出,一轰而出又一轰而散,脚底虽不停搓捻地面,却溅不起什么尘土。

有个小男孩站在不远处,手里握着雪糕,呆呆地傻笑。

眼看末梢就快要融化掉了,五龙先生的内心迫切想要喊出来,叫他快点吃掉。就在那个瞬间,男孩突然矫捷灵敏的伸出舌头将雪糕迅速吞进了肚子里。

已经很久没有过起伏情绪的五龙先生,站在那里,仿佛看到了自己年轻时候的模样。也是这样,貌似呆呆傻傻,实际上那内心跟明镜儿似的,不怕事,稳准狠,总是能在遗憾发生之前尽力挽回。可不知怎么,岁数越大,经历越多,反而开始变得犹犹豫豫拖泥带水,面对已经发生的糟糕和可以预防的更糟糕,充满了惶恐。

人到中年,真的就不能像小时侯一样耍无赖了吗?

假装失望是沙包,丢来丢去最后直接仍到草坪上。假装挫败是气话,撕毁不及格的试卷期待下次评比。假装所有疾病都是感冒,喝大杯热水,蒙头睡一觉,什么烦恼都可以通通OUT掉。

“算了,我老了,有些事情真的无能为力”,五龙先生悲哀道。

“可是你不试一下,怎么知道咬不到最后一口雪糕呢”,打小就是乐观主义的蕾蕾姐自然不会纵容自己师傅拿身体开玩笑。

后来,她果真陪五龙先生开始了一场漫长的与糖尿病的持久战役。

这十年来,蕾蕾姐除了自己的工作之外,大部分时间都用在了陪伴并监督五龙先生“吃药打针”这件事情上。糖尿病患者必须在每日饭前要打胰岛素,光是这点,其实都很难熬。好在,从最初的抗拒、怀疑和自暴自弃,到如今的主动、积极和坚持给自己加油打气,五龙先生的病情和心情都还算相对控制的稳定。

出于感恩,蕾蕾姐就这样成为了五龙先生心目中的“珍宝”,比所有收藏都重要。

和蕾蕾姐熟了之后,每每得空她总是会抽时间带我去吃好吃的。

席间无话不谈,话题贯穿古今中外大小趣事。寻摸着她的模样和谈吐,我一直觉得,她的年龄应该是在28~35岁之间,区间为7,足够承载下一切惊讶。可当我得知,她竟然今年已经有50岁之余的时候,真的只能用“五体投地”来形容。

与其说羡慕人家的容貌年轻,不如说,羡慕她的心志,犹如少年。

蕾蕾姐出生且成长在六朝古都南京,军人世家,身兼江南的温婉,又契入骨子里那份对抗苦难的坚硬性情。

十几岁跟随家人来到北京,二十岁毕业分配国企,三十岁在蓄谋已久的雀跃中跳槽创业,不到四十岁的时候拥有了一家完全属于自己的能源公司。注册在潍纺,常年与大海做伴,远离城市中喧闹繁杂的浑浊气息。

如今除了工作之外,她还每年固定和驴友们一起相约徒步,潜水,听讲座,看展览,去世界各处听有趣的故事,回来后讲给我们这些年轻人听。

在这些跌跌撞撞的经历里,蕾蕾姐始终坚持着自己年少的爱好——画画。

虽然,她并没有成为职业画家,也没有从这件事情上获得任何物质利益。但因而从中吸取的那部分恰恰是,真实基础之上,更加饱满的自己。三毛在《空心人》里写道,所有的人起初都是空心人,自我,只是一个模糊的影子。全靠书籍绘画音乐电影里他人的生命体验唤出方向,并用自己的经历去填充,渐渐成为实心人。

人到中年,少时膨胀的野心不再激昂,能保留一些对生活本真的热情犹为重要。

蕾蕾姐只是其中特征明显的一类人。

读懂了他们,就读懂了生命。

放在大多数和岁月博弈过的中年人身上,他们热衷的养生,其实就是年轻时迷恋的娱乐项目。他们习惯的唠叨,其实就是后青春期里无处安放的深情。他们别扭的恋家癖,其实就是走远了的游侠,灯火阑珊尽头处想要拉回的童话。

敢爱,能爱,会爱,就不会老。

Author:闫晓雨
BGM:1945

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